Don’t Hex Your Ex: Reasons You Should Let Go and Grow

The Haunted Housewife - Don't Hex Your Ex

Don’t hex your ex.

If you’ve suffered or had to endure any type of abuse– be it emotional, verbal or physical, by all means do as you will. The point of this little conversation we’re about to have, however, is to think about taking all of the lemons your exes gave you and turning them

into the best lemonade you’ve had. No matter what happened in the past,  it’s always good to leave it there and move on.

Unless you’ve won the relationship lottery straight out of high school and are happily married to your sweetheart, chances are, you’ve got an ex or two under your belt. I’ve got a few; it’s a lot like the Seven Evil Exes in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. You live, you learn… am I right?

Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, or how we’ve hurt each other, I find it much more beneficial to remember them for the things they’ve taught me instead. Don’t hex your ex.

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Gautama Buddha

All About Abuse – Unfortunately,  I learned about physical and emotional abuse straight out of middle school with my very first boyfriend. I swore this was more than puppy love, but there was no way I was going to allow somebody to punch me in the face. I learned that any type of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse and manipulation isn’t something I’m going to play around with. I refuse to be a victim–if you wanna hit me,  verbally abuse me, or try to manipulate me in any way #byefelipe/felicia.

What I Don’t Want – My second relationship brought a few things to light and I quickly learned what I could and would put up with. After it was over and done with, I analyzed what went wrong and vowed to avoid people with personality traits that clashed with mine. I learned about what I liked and disliked in a partner so I could make better choices. Every relationship after this one got better and better. 🙂

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. -C.S. Lewis

How To Love -My parent’s relationship wasn’t a good example for me.  I’ve always regarded myself as a selfish person. I keep my distance in an effort to protect myself from becoming emotionally invested, and eventually, heartbroken. My ex’s broke down that wall, and no matter how much baggage we’ve got between us, I’ll never deny that I loved them. I learned how to love, accept and support another person unconditionally in a romantic sense.

When To Leave – A few relationships I have ended cold turkey, and didn’t look back. The emotional stress of staying was greater than the comfort, or smooth sailing had I not rocked the boat. I did what was best for me/us at the time, and that was to remove myself from the situation. I’ve mentally struggled with the decision of leaving, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to hurt myself, or another person. Staying would have prolonged the stress and pain, so I learned to say goodbye when it was necessary. 

How To Forgive -The hardest part of all of this is learning to let go of the bad jujus a relationship leaves me with. Try not to be bound by anger and resentment. The past is the past! Instead of looking back I’m choosing to move forward with my refreshing glass of lemonade in hand.

Don’t hex your ex. 

We meet the people we do for a reason: to grow and learn from our triumphs and mistakes.  Most of the time we grow so much we outgrow each other, and that’s a normal part of life. We need to grow!

✨Continue Glowing Up✨:

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  • Samantha

    I love your take on this! There are definitely a few exes in my past I’d rather forget, but I try to learn a little from each experience.

    • This is because I try not to burn bridges, or slam the door completely (although it IS tempting). I try to always be a friend, when somebody needs a friend, you never know what may happen!

  • Kristina

    I think you have a good perspective on this topic. Sometimes it’s hard to get over relationships, particularly painful ones, but I agree that you should try to learn from each one and take those lessons with you.

    • Yep, you learn from each one! Even if you learn what you DON’T want, it’s still a learning experience! 🙂